


Girls To The Rescue!

by Starbooks13



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Community: avengerkink, F/M, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-22
Updated: 2012-11-22
Packaged: 2017-11-19 05:59:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbooks13/pseuds/Starbooks13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or Five Times An Avenger Got Saved By A Girl and the One Time They Realized How Often Natasha Saves Their Asses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pepper Potts

**Author's Note:**

> First fic on AO3! So excited. This was originally a fill for a prompt on Avengerkink that asked for a fic where the male Avengers are in trouble and the ladies have to use their knowledge and skills to save them. Because there can always be more fic about the MCU ladies being badass. :)

                Bruce Banner may not be the most heroic of individuals, but he can count on one hand the number of times since gaining the Other Guy that he has felt like a damsel in distress.  Waking up in the restored Hulk cage in the Helicarrier to the smug grin of General “Thunderbolt” Ross, the grim features of Nick Fury, and the highly upset looks of his teammates was the first time Bruce had to use all the fingers on that hand.

                They’ve been trying for years to keep Ross off his tail, and so far SHIELD’s influence has worked.  But things looked like they were about to drastically change.  He was already fighting the inevitable Hulk-out that seeing Ross tended to provoke.  “What’s going on here?”

                Fury’s the one who answered.  “I’m sorry, Dr. Banner.  He’s got us this time.”

                “What the director is trying to say,” Ross said, highly pleased with himself.  “Is that your latest “incident” finally convinced the WSC to turn you over to me.”

                “He was trying to save my life!” Tony immediately protested, looking like he would happily go for Ross’s jugular if Steve wasn’t restraining him. 

                “He caused an international incident which set back US relations with Latveria at least five years,” Ross fired back.

                “When are you idiots going to learn that Doom _cannot_ be negotiated with?” Natasha was uncharacteristically emotional, an equally murderous-looking Clint at her side.  “He was here for peace talks, yet blatantly attempted to _murder_ Stark and take his suit!”

                “If Dr. Banner had not acted, Anthony would be dead, and his armor in Doom’s possession,” Thor boomed, clutching Mjolnir in his fist.  “You cannot mean to take him away for saving countless innocent lives.”

  
                “With all due respect, Your Highness”—Ross’ tone indicated anything but—“That man’s continued freedom _endangers_ countless innocent lives.  And the WSC finally agrees with me.”

                Bruce felt the Other Guy surging and welcomed him, knowing that Fury would drop him and that he’d survive.  He might have to go into hiding, he might never see his new friends— _or Betty_ —ever again, but at least he won’t fall into Ross’ hands.  He saw the fear in the others’ eyes as they finally noticed, knew he must be starting to turn green.  Won’t be long now…

                “BRUCE!”

                Betty’s scream shattered the Other Guy’s will to fight, and Bruce nearly collapsed as the rage fled, replaced by heartbreak.  He’d never, _ever_ Hulk-out on the Helicarrier with Betty on board unless it was an emergency, and while this was one, neither he nor the Other Guy can bring themselves to switch, to disappear forever with Betty watching.

                And there she was, as gorgeous as ever, frozen like a statue for an instant before everyone around her breathed a sigh and she nearly collapsed into Pepper Potts’ waiting arms.  Bruce looked at the redhead in slight confusion.  Pepper must have brought Betty—but why _are_ they here?

                The steely determination in Pepper’s eyes shocked him, and he watched as she leaned Betty against Thor, who wrapped a protective arm around her and nearly growled at General Ross when he tried to go to his daughter.  Pepper promptly stepped into his path, glaring at both him and Fury.  “Gentlemen, what the hell do you think you’re doing with one of my employees?”

                Employee.  Right.  The reason why he had been with Tony and Pepper when Doom attacked—he had been signing a special contract to work at Stark Industries (SHIELD didn’t exactly pay him for his services as an Avenger, and while Tony provided room and board for all of them, Bruce needed the money).  Clearly, neither Ross nor Fury was aware of this, as Ross looked shocked and Fury looked suspicious. Tony, however, was suddenly grinning like an idiot.

                “Y-your what?” Ross stammered.

                “My employee,” Pepper replied calmly, but dangerously, opening the folder she was carrying under her arm and brandishing Bruce’s contract like Steve would his shield.  “Dr. Banner was with Mr. Stark and I the day of the attack because he was signing this contract to work at Stark Industries.  And if you’ll notice on Page 7,” Ross grabbed the contract and flipped to the page, with Fury looking over his shoulder.  “Dr. Banner has signed over the rights for any and all military testing on his person to be conducted only by Stark Industries through our military development contracts.  I’ve just spoken with your superiors, and they agree that this contract places Dr. Banner’s person under the jurisdiction of SI, which means he is no longer your concern.”

                Bruce felt himself matching Tony’s grin as Pepper’s words sank in.  He’d signed the contract hoping that it would give him some defense from the military, but to have Ross’ superiors actually bow to the demands of the contract was beyond his wildest dreams.  And he had to admit, watching Ross’ face turn a remarkable shade of purple was _very_ satisfying, as was the impressed look that Fury gave Pepper.

                Speechless with rage, Ross flung the contract on the ground before storming out.  Fury quickly said something about making sure he was kept under control, with Tony promising to have SI’s lawyers on it ASAP, but Bruce tuned them out when Natasha opened the doors to his prison and Betty flew into his arms, weeping in relief.  He looked up at Pepper, watching them with a warm smile on her face, and remembered that the contract had been her idea in the first place.

                When a clearly relieved Clint teased him at dinner that night for getting saved by Tony’s girlfriend, Bruce took it good-naturedly while secretly pitying anyone who had to go up against Pepper Potts in the boardroom.


	2. Betty Ross

                Leave it to General Ross to not know when he’s been beaten.

                Tony rocketed towards the Hulk, watching as he tore apart another Hammerdrone.  He barely dodged the flying debris and double-checked to make sure Pepper and Betty were safe.  So much for their double-date night.

                Pepper may have beaten Ross at his own game, but thing is, manipulating the political bureaucracy _wasn’t_ Ross’ game.  His game was bringing in heavy artillery and blowing stuff up.  So of course he’d find himself a new army to replace the human one he’d lost thanks to Pepper and go right back to trying to capture/kill Bruce. 

And, of course, the person he turned to for his new army just had to be Justin Hammer, who Steve, Clint, and Natasha were currently going to arrest (again—how he got out of jail the first time was still beyond Tony).  Unfortunately for Tony, Thor was currently on Asgard, and while they’d fixed the section of the Bifrost that went between Earth and Asgard, Jane was still working on a way to communicate between realms with the Bifrost’s highly intimidating gatekeeper, Heimdall. 

Which meant that Tony was on his own, which was just _great_.  _Thor_ had trouble keeping the Hulk under control, and he was a nearly-indestructible demi-god.  Tony, slightly-more-than-mere-mortal that he was, was probably screwed.

Then both Tony and the Hulk spotted Ross’ hiding spot at the exact same time.  “Crap,” Tony said.  “JARVIS, get me over there, ASAP!”

“On it, sir.”  Tony rocketed over and barely got in front of Ross in time to blast the Hulk back a few steps.  Unfortunately, while the Hulk and Iron Man were normally buddies, defending Ross must have _really_ ticked the big guy off, because he grabbed hold of Tony and basically started _tearing his suit apart_.

He’d made extensive lists of the various ways he thought he might die—he was amazed that he’d somehow forgotten to add “getting ripped to shreds by the Hulk.”

As the Hulk reached for his helmet, Tony began sending up prayers to just about every deity he could think of (including Thor, his entire extended family, and, yes, he was so desperate he even included Loki) that _something_ would happen to keep him from dying a horrific, excruciatingly painful death. 

He wasn’t expecting his prayers to be answered by an ear-piercing scream. “BRUCE!”

Betty _had_ to be part-siren or something (what? He’d read up on his mythology after meeting Thor and Loki—better safe than sorry) since that scream stopped the Hulk right in his tracks.  Tony had just enough time to register the fact that he was still alive, and probably not going to die after all, when the Hulk dropped him to the ground.  Every inch of his body _hurt_ when he hit the dirt, but it just let him know he was alive.

He managed to turn his head enough to see Betty yelling at the Hulk, who had stopped smashing and tearing and was now…okay he must have hit his head harder than he thought, because he was pretty sure that the Hulk was now _pouting_ at Betty.   And she didn’t look worried, or freaked out, she just looked… _pissed off_.  She was glaring at the Hulk like he was a disobedient child, and he actually looked _upset_ that she was mad at him.  Now that he thought about it, that scream had sounded pretty angry—something he’d expect from the Hulk, not a tall, slim scientist with supermodel good looks and zero superpowers.

Later, as Tony lay recovering in a hospital bed, Bruce delivered a heartfelt apology from the Other Guy with Betty at his side.  She smirked when Tony thanked her, saying she owed Pepper for saving Bruce from her dad.  At the sight of that smirk, and with the image of her anger stopping _the Hulk_ in his tracks still fresh in his mind, Tony made a mental note to never, _ever_ mess with Betty Ross.


	3. Jane Foster

                Thor, Odin’s Son, Crown Prince of Asgard, Lord of Thunder, a being revered by many as a god, has rarely ever encountered a problem his beloved Mjolnir could not fix.  His current predicament, unfortunately, could not be resolved by a well-placed swing from Mjolnir.  In fact, his hammer actually _caused_ said predicament.

                He had come to visit his beloved Lady Jane at her new SHIELD research facility, where she and Dr. Selvig were continuing their work in helping Heimdall rebuild the Bifrost.  The connection between Midgard and Asgard had been quickly rebuilt with the aid of the Tessarect, but establishing connections between Asgard and the other worlds had been problematic.  His allies on Midgard had proposed that the problems resulted from the Tessarect’s awareness of realms beyond the Nine, and the wisest minds of Asgard were inclined to agree with them.  

Thor personally believed Loki held the key to fully repairing the Bifrost, as he had interacted with these realms beyond and knew more of the workings of the Tessarect than most.  However, his brother was…extremely disinclined to help.  To the point that he launched an attack on Jane’s research facility while Thor was there visiting. 

 Despite all his brother had done, Thor wanted nothing more than for Loki to see the error of his ways and return to at least a resemblance of the good man he once was (he could never completely be that person again—even Thor understood that).  At the moment, though, Thor mentally cursed his brother’s ability to duplicate himself, as a blow from Mjolnir meant for his brother had gone straight through a copy and smashed an apparently vital piece of Jane’s equipment—which had activated the Bifrost portal Jane and Selvig had been working on.

                A portal that, according to Jane’s report to him when he first arrived, was highly unstable and very similar to the black hole that Loki had fallen into upon the Bifrost’s destruction.  

                Now, with Loki gone (he had fled the moment the portal was activated), the portal was threatening to destroy the entire facility.  Thor, having been at what Tony Stark would later call “ground zero,” was currently clinging on for dear life to a large metal pillar, praying to all the gods of the Nine Realms that the pillar would hold against the portal’s pull as pieces of machinery flew past his head.  He knew very well, though, that his time was running out.

                Closing his eyes, he thought of his lovely Lady Jane, and felt a deep pang of sadness that he would most likely never see her again.  He could only hope she had been evacuated from the facility and was far enough away that the portal’s destruction would not result in her death as well.  If he had caused Jane’s demise, he would never be able to forgive himself.

                Not that it would matter too greatly, as the metal of the pillar began to creak and groan under the weight of his body being pulled back towards the portal.  He forced himself to think only of Jane.  He knew not what Loki had thought of when he fell, but he wished to be like Tony and think only of his beloved.

                Suddenly, there was an explosive _crack_ , and the portal’s pull vanished like a feast before a hungry Volstagg.  Thor thudded to the floor with none of the grace expected of a prince of Asgard, and immediately rolled to his feet to see that the portal itself was completely _gone_.

                “ _THOR!_ ” 

                He turned in surprise to see Lady Jane running across the destroyed chamber to fling herself into his arms.  “Jane! What are you doing here?  I thought you evacuated—“

                “I couldn’t leave you,” she replied, tightening her arms around him.  “I can’t lose you again.”

                He sighed, holding her close and stroking her soft brown hair.  “But you have not lost me.  The portal is gone.”

                She looked up at him, a proud, triumphant smile on her face.  “I know.  I closed it.”

                He would later deny it, but as a snickering Tony would prove to be true from the security footage, his mouth dropped open in complete shock.  “You _closed_ it?  But _how_?  I thought I had destroyed—“

                “Oh, it wasn’t easy,” Jane said, stepping back from him.  She launched into what Clint had informed him was called “techno-babble,” and while Thor understood only a small portion of what she said, one thing was abundantly clear to him at that moment.  

                His Lady Jane was a brilliant wizard whose skill was on par with his brother’s, and he pitied the mind that dared to go up against his beloved’s.


	4. Darcy Lewis

                Very rarely was Clint caught off guard.  Even rarer were the moments when he was genuinely embarrassed.  Incidents involving either were generally the fault of one Natasha Romanoff, with a few very dangerous and/or highly respected exceptions.

                However, he was currently in the middle of a very embarrassing situation, in which he had been caught off guard by someone who was neither dangerous nor highly respected, and thus definitely not Natasha.  Worse, the individual was your average New York street crook, who was frantically waving a gun in Clint’s face.  

He, Hawkeye of the Avengers, Agent of SHIELD and the World’s Greatest Marksman, was getting mugged.

                The whole thing might have been hilarious—and easily fixed—if Clint was alone.  But no, he just had to be on a date with one Darcy Lewis, former personal assistant to Doctor Jane Foster and current personal assistant to the formerly deceased Agent Phil Coulson.  Since the mugger was also waving his gun in her face, incapacitating the man without either himself or Darcy getting hurt was not going to be easy.   Especially since this guy seemed more than a little twitchy, his hands shaking while his finger repeatedly tensed and relaxed against the trigger.

                If they got out of this okay, he was going to start acting like Natasha and take at least half a dozen knives _everywhere_ he went.  Even if it was on a date with a girl who was still a little gun-shy (pun intended) about the whole “assassin” thing.  Hell, the only reason he’d come unarmed was to make Darcy more comfortable.  She may work for SHIELD now, but she was still more civilian than agent.

                For the moment, he was willing to sacrifice his dignity and fork over the cash from his wallet.  The mugger pocketed the money before turning to Darcy.  “Alright, now the bag!”

                Darcy glared at the guy before hugging her purse to her chest.  “But this is my favorite purse!  It’s the only one that goes with this dress!” She lowered the bag so that the guy could get a good look at her dress: a knee-length purple getup with a _very_ fitted bodice.  Clint’s brain had shut down temporarily when he’d first seen the way her boobs threatened to spill over the neckline.  He tried very hard to not to look now; he couldn’t afford to be distracted.

                That was when he realized the mugger was also gaping at Darcy’s boobs.  And that Darcy’s hand had somehow slipped into her bag during the exchange.

                Faster than he could have imagined, Darcy whipped out her ever-present Taser and fired.  Operating purely on instinct, Clint wacked the mugger’s arm up just as the charge hit and the guy fired the gun on reflex.  The bullet grazed the side of Clint’s head, but he had known it would.  Besides, he’d had far worse injuries.

                The mugger had barely hit the ground before Darcy was flinging her arms around Clint.  “Clint! Clint, oh my God, I’m so sorry, I thought he wouldn’t shoot, holy crap you’re bleeding, we need to call 911-“

                She was babbling, but Clint didn’t care.  The image of her Tasering the mugger after distracting him with her amazing chest was currently playing on repeat in his head.  And the more he thought about it, the hotter it seemed.  

                So he shut her up with a very passionate kiss.  And while he got hell from the others—not to mention half of SHIELD—for needing to have _Darcy_ save _him_ from a _mugger_ , he didn’t care.  He loved the fact that his new girlfriend was more than just a pretty, snarky face, and he was looking forward to seeing what she did to the next guy who tried to mess with her.


	5. Peggy Carter

                When Steve arrived at Peggy’s home to discover the front door unlocked and ajar, he immediately knew that something was wrong.  For a woman over ninety years old, she was still incredibly sound of mind, a former secret agent, and on top of that she was one of SHIELD’s founders.  She would _never_ leave her front door unlocked, let along hanging open.  Steve suddenly, fervently wished he had his shield, and resolved to take Tony up on his offer of a harness that fit under his street clothes.

                Unarmed, but not necessarily unprepared, he ventured into Peggy’s house, leaving the bouquet of flowers he brought for her on the table in the hall.  “Peggy?” he called out, trying to sound casual and relaxed.  “It’s me.  Your front door was unlocked.  Is everything okay?” He hoped whoever else was there—because there was someone else there, there had to be—mistook the worry in his voice for concern over a perceived careless error.

                Peggy’s voice sounded from the kitchen, still clear as a bell even after all these years.  “I’m in here, Steven!”  She’d stopped calling him “Steven” back in the ‘40s.  Something was _definitely_ wrong.  

                He practically bolted into the kitchen, only to pull up short at the sight of a strange man in a well-tailored suit sitting at Peggy’s kitchen table.  Peggy was frozen at the stove, looking at him with an apologetic frown.  The man had a gun pointed at her head—and a silver HYDRA pin on his lapel.

                “Captain Rogers, I presume.” He spoke English with a vaguely German accent.  “Please, do come in.  Margaret here-” Steve’s skin crawled at his casual use of Peggy’s name.  “-was just making us some tea.  We would so love it if you joined us.”  He glanced at Peggy.  “Please continue, madam.  I must say, I am looking forward to finally having a proper English tea.  I have heard it spoken quite highly of in other parts of the world.”

                Peggy frowned at Steve again, but this time her expression was decidedly angry.  She gestured for him to come in before starting to pour the tea from the kettle.

                The man’s smile was downright villainous.  “I must say, it is a pleasure to finally meet you.  I have heard so much about you from my father.”

                He motioned for Steve to sit, and Steve reluctantly complied.  “And your father would be?”

                “My father _was_ Baron Heinrich Zemo of the Third Reich,” the man replied curtly, eyes flashing. 

                Steve started in his chair and met Peggy’s equally shocked gaze as she nearly spilled the tea.  They both knew, of course, that Zemo had survived the war.  They also both knew that he had resurrected HYDRA in the modern era.  Neither of them, however, had known that Zemo had a son.

                Steve looked back at the man, suddenly aware of an oddity in his phrase.  “Wait.  You said ‘was’.  Is Zemo…?”

                The younger Zemo nodded.  “Dead.” His evil grin widened.  “I killed him.  You are looking at HYDRA’s new leader.”  His eyes were cold and unyielding—Steve remembered seeing the same look in the late Baron’s eyes when they’d clashed during the war.  “And I don’t intend to make the same errors as my predecessor.”

                Peggy brought the tea over to the table, the new Baron Zemo’s gun following her the entire way.  She set the cup down in front of Zemo before sitting down on Steve’s left.  Steve’s hand found hers under the table and squeezed it.  She squeezed back, her grip stronger than one would expect from such a sweet-looking elderly woman.  

                Steve looked back at the young Zemo, fixing him with his fiercest glare.  “And what sort of ‘errors’ might those be?”

                Zemo’s gun switched from Peggy to Steve in a heartbeat.  “My father wanted to make you suffer for the humiliation he endured because of you.  His plans, of course, were highly impractical, and damaged our cause.”  He picked up the steaming teacup with his free hand.  “So instead of making you suffer, I intend to end you quickly and cleanly.”  The gun suddenly moved back to Peggy.  “And I intend to make you beg me to indulge you.”

                Steve felt his heart leap into his throat.  “Leave her out of this!” he blurted, resisting the urge to jump the bastard.  He knew if he made any sudden move, Peggy was dead.

                Zemo laughed.  “She was involved in this long before you, Captain.  It’s only fitting that she departs before you as well.”  He took a sip of the tea and sighed.  “Ah, but it will be a great shame to end her life. This just might be the finest cup of tea I have ever had.”

                Peggy spoke for the first time since Steve entered the kitchen.  “I’m glad to hear it, Baron.  I made it specifically for you.”

                The Baron suddenly made a choking sound.  Both the gun and the teacup slipped from his hands, clattering onto the tabletop.  The hot tea spilled into Zemo’s lap, but he didn’t react at all.  Instead, his eyes rolled back into his head and he slumped in his chair, toppling to the floor after a heartbeat.

                Steve grabbed the gun and jumped over the table to crouch next to Zemo’s fallen form.  Keeping the gun trained on the Baron’s head, he quickly felt for a pulse.  The HYDRA leader’s heartbeat was steady and rhythmic, as though he was asleep.

                Steve glanced up at Peggy, confused.   She, however, was smiling broadly as she crossed to the counter and picked up the discarded teabag.  “It’s just a little something SHIELD’s R&D department cooked up years ago.”  She dangled the bag before him, clearly trying not to giggle.  “I haven’t had a chance to use them in so long. I was worried they’d gone bad.”

                He stared at her, slack-jawed.  “You _drugged_ him?”

                She nodded, moving towards her telephone.  “And the drug is supposed to last for at least two hours.  Plenty of time for us to get him… _situated_ and let SHIELD know to come pick him up.”  She picked up the phone and dialed a number, holding it to her ear as she walked towards her pantry and began rummaging around, looking for something.  

                Steve found himself staring at her in shock and awe as she calmly informed Fury of Baron Zemo’s death, his son’s invasion of her home, Steve’s arrival, and her drugging of the new HYDRA leader.  She hung up the phone just as she cried, “Ah! There they are,” and pulled a pair of handcuffs out of her pantry.

                Steve’s mouth dropped open even further.  “Marry me,” he blurted, before blushing bright red.  He had _not_ meant to say that out loud.

                Peggy smiled at him indulgently as she put the phone up.  “If I was a much younger woman, I would most assuredly say yes.”

                As Steve watched his ninety-plus-year-old former flame strap a pair of handcuffs on a drugged terrorist leader, he found himself pitying the Baron for making an even greater mistake than his father: taking on the former Agent Peggy Carter. 


	6. Natasha Romanoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> +1 time the boys realized how much Natasha saves their asses (and Loki hijacks the story!)

                Bruce Banner, Tony Stark, Thor, Clint Barton, and Steve Rogers were having a “guys’ night” in Stark Tower’s main common room.  Stark had called for it, saying that they needed to “reassert their manhood by drinking, watching sports and/or action movies with plenty of explosions, and talking about hot girls.”  By which he meant their significant others, since every man in the room (with the possible exception of Rogers) was currently in a relationship.  Even though said women were the reason why Stark had called for a guys’ night.

                “Okay, does it not bother anyone else that within the past three months, we have all needed to get rescued by our girlfriends?” Stark asked, waving his scotch glass for emphasis.

                Rogers blushed.  “Well, Peggy’s not really my girlfriend anymore…”

                Stark rolled his eyes.  “Okay, let me rephrase that.  Our girlfriends and a ninety-something-year-old woman who just happens to be Steve’s former flame.”

                Rogers’ blush deepened.  “Well, when you put it like that…”

                “Doesn’t bother me,” Barton said, knocking back his beer.  “Darcy taking out that mugger was damn hot.”  He wiped his mouth and grinned.  “And the rescue sex is even better when you were the damsel in distress.”

                “The Lady Jane’s brilliance and valor continue to dazzle me,” Thor said dreamily, half-empty jug of Asgardian mead dangling from his hand.  “I have no complaints.”

                Stark rolled his eyes.  “Okay, you three I get, since you all got rescued by your specific lady—or the old lady who used to be, don’t give me that look, Steve.”  He turned to Banner.  “But you and I got saved by _each other’s_ girlfriends.  And don’t take this the wrong way, but in the suit, I could snap Betty in half.”

                Banner shrugged.  “So could the Other Guy, but she’s one of the only people he’ll listen to.” He eyed Stark.  “Don’t tell me you’re not grateful.”

                Stark blanched.  “Of course I am! If it wasn’t for Betty, I’d be in as many pieces as my suit.”  Banner flushed and ducked his head.  “Damn it, Bruce, you know I don’t blame you.”

                “I know,” Banner mumbled sheepishly.  “And I know you’re grateful.  Honestly, I’m grateful to you and Pepper for saving me from Ross.”

                Stark shook his head.  “That was entirely Pepper’s doing, and you know it.  She saved you, buddy.  And she’s saved me hundreds of times in the past.”

                “And yet you still claim that getting saved by a girl casts your manhood into doubt,” Rogers said wryly, a smile on his lips.

                Stark tilted his chin up in a pathetic attempt at dignity.  “Only when said girl is a perfectly normal human being who is not my girlfriend.  I have no problems getting rescued by Natasha.”

                “Because she’s manlier than you’ll ever be?” Barton teased.

                “Ah, no.  I am definitely manlier than Natasha.   Justin Hammer is manlier than Natasha.”  At the others’ confused stares, Stark added, “By which I mean that Natasha is incredibly feminine for a master assassin.  Which, of course, is exactly the reason why I don’t mind playing damsel in distress with her: because she’s the freaking Black Widow.  She could kill me with her pinkie—while I was in the suit.”

                Rogers nodded.   “Whereas the other girls wouldn’t even be able to touch you.  With the possible exception of Pepper,” he added.

                Stark grinned.  “Exactly!  Natasha’s not someone you want to mess with.  And she saves all of our asses on a weekly basis anyway, so it’s not weird when she does it.”

                Thor frowned.  “The Lady Natasha has come to our rescue more than once, it’s true, but I do not believe it has been quite so frequent.”

                Stark and Barton both gave Thor matching looks of disbelief.  “Thor, buddy, she’s been saving my ass since before either of us met you guys,” Barton said.

                “And she saved my life twice the first time I worked with her,” Stark added. He frowned.  “Although she did it by lying to me and shoving a needle in my neck.”

                Banner frowned.  “Should those count if they were before the team was formed?”

                Rogers nodded.  “I think they should.  And even without them, Tony’s right.  Natasha helped save the world during the Chitauri invasion by closing the portal when none of us could.  And she’s saved my life more than once.”

                “She’s pretty good at helping me keep the Other Guy under control,” Banner admitted.  “And she was really helpful in taking down Samuel Sterns when he escaped SHIELD custody.”

                Thor sighed.  “Aye, and just last week she saved us all from the forces of AIM when they attacked that research facility.  Not to mention all the times her insight has proved key to defeating my brother in battle.”

                “And that’s just what we can think of right now,” Barton said.  

                The male Avengers sat in silence for several long moments, contemplating.  Thor finally spoke.  “The Lady Natasha has always been there for us in difficult situations.  I did not realize just how often such situations occur.”

                “So, what have we learned here tonight, gentlemen?” Stark asked, downing his scotch and reaching for the bottle to refill his glass.

                “That we should be embarrassed when our badass but normal girlfriends rescue us, but not when Natasha does because she can kill us all in our sleep,” Barton said, summing it up neatly.

                Rogers reached for his beer.  “I’ll drink to that.”

                The four men and one Asgardian raised their drinks in toast.  “To our lovely, lethal ladies,” Stark said solemnly. 

                “May they always be covering our backsides,” Barton added, grinning when Stark shot him a dirty look.

                Loki snapped his fingers and the image vanished from where he had projected it onto the penthouse suite’s large television screen.  He leaned back against the couch and did not flinch when two soft, but deadly hands came to rest on his bare shoulders.  “Good to know my efforts are appreciated,” Natasha said, amused by her teammates’ antics.

                He took one of her hands and pressed a kiss to her palm.  “I, for one, would appreciate a little less effort in that particular area.”

                “Not going to happen.”  Her tone was still playful, but Loki clearly heard the ice in her voice.

                “I didn’t think so,” he replied, his thumb stroking the sensitive skin of her wrist.  He smirked when he felt her shiver.  “But a god can dream.”

                He hissed when Natasha gripped a handful of his hair and jerked his head back, forcing him to look at her.  Thanks to their…activities earlier in the evening, she was clad in nothing but a black silk robe, just as he wore only his trousers.  It would have been a pleasant view if not for the ache in his neck.  Her smile was sharp.  “Keep dreaming, Loki,” she said, before shoving his head down.

                He snarled before seizing her and flipping her over the back of the couch, rising to his feet as he did.  She landed where he had been sitting seconds earlier and he pinned her there, one arm forcing her legs down against the seat and his other hand encircling her neck.  “It would be so easy to kill you right now,” he growled, squeezing lightly.  “All it would take is a slight increase in pressure and, well.”  He chuckled darkly at the fury in her eyes.  “I doubt even the great Black Widow could survive getting her windpipe crushed.”

                Natasha’s hand shot up, and he let out a cry of surprise as a knife slashed his check, releasing her on reflex.  He barely had time to wonder when she had hidden a knife in the couch before she kicked him squarely in the chest, knocking him on his back.  She was on top of him in moments, pinning him to the floor with her weight, the blade pressed hard against his throat.

                 “It would be so easy to kill you right now,” she purred viciously.  “All it would take is a flick of my wrist, and, well,” she leaned closer and he bit back a moan when she gently licked the cut on his face.  “I doubt even a god could survive getting his windpipe severed.”

                He could easily overpower her, and she knew it.  But he knew when he had been beaten, and unlike many in his line of work (Doom for example), he was man enough to admit it.  So instead he threaded his fingers through her red curls and drew her mouth to his.  

                She returned his kiss without hesitation, moving her knife from his neck and shifting to straddle him.  “You will be the death of me, little spider,” he murmured when they at last broke apart for air.  Natasha’s triumphant smirk aroused and angered him in equal measure, but arousal triumphed when she leaned in to kiss him again.  

                For now, he was content to play games with her, tiny struggles for power and dominance in which neither of them truly lost.  But the God of Mischief was no fool.  Someday, he would face the consequences of having taken the Black Widow to his bed, for Stark was right about one thing: she was not someone to be messed with, and Loki loved nothing more than to do just that.


End file.
